When She Says “No”!

This is for us guys. You know, we always tend to misunderstand this amazing creature called woman. True, they are pretty simply complex, but their hearts can’t be any more graceful.

Being in a relationship with a lady, pre- and post-wedding, can be a part- or full-time work. 

Depending on your partner, it can be sweet or bitter
, but in all it won’t leave you the same. A little baffling to me is that most relationships I’ve witnessed had begun with the lady saying a ‘NO!’

So the question is whether a ‘no response’ is always in the negative? Well, not when it comes from a woman. A lady friend who gave you all the green lights may shock you with a seemingly negative answer even though she dears to say ‘I do’. A woman’s ‘no’ is as complex a statement as she is a human.

First of all let me tell you why it frustrates us; ego! A man doesn’t want to feel let down. We hate disappointments. We want to win; and winning the heart of a woman is one of the greatest victories men cherish so much. So from the men’s perspective, following our leads and satisfying every of our intent gives us a satisfying sense of achievement.

Nevertheless, why don’t women know and apply this seemingly simple rule? Again, Ego! Her ‘no’ does not always mean ‘it won’t work, look for another’. Neither does it mean ‘never!’ In a simple three-worded statement she’s simply saying, ‘try again later’.

Why so? In the virtual fight for importance a woman feels that outright affirmation is equal to her losing her dignity. So she wants to feel honoured and sought-after. Yes, she really enjoys playing the ‘hard to get’ game. Not necessarily because she wants to punish the guys, but because she wants to secure her right place in the heart of the man she loves.

So guy, calm down on her. Allow her to feel honoured. Go the second round. True, she may be falling for you; tripping at every singular thing you do. Within you, you feel there is no possibility for her to reject you because of how sweet your friendship had been. Or you feel you are handsome and rich and have enough to take her round the world but after that long break to ‘think about it’, she returns with a ‘no!’ Yes, she deserves it. She is just finding expression for her womanhood.

Aside that positive ego- that sense of fulfilment as a woman essential for her feeling psychologically balanced- she wants to make the right decision too. Do not think that you are the only one interested in her. Many guys are wishing to win her as much as you. So playing the gentleman.

If you ask her out once and vanish-like many do, including me- it is simply a sign of your being unserious- to her. And mind you, no girl wants to date an unserious guy for that matter. Continue to buy her flowers and take her out as much as you can. Do not overspend or overdo, as that will make you look fake. Tell her how beautiful she is-she wants to hear that. And finally, do not change your attitude negatively towards her.

You may just win with the next blow. So, in all, don’t take a woman’s ‘no’ at the surface. Look deeper to hear the unspoken words.